Michael Bay is loathed by critics, partly because his films are over the top, cliched and the editing is just ridiculous. However, other reasons include his ‘trademark’ cheesy dialogue. Here’s 10 quotes from his most ridiculous film: Armageddon.
Here are the quotes:
1) Chick: I never told anybody this before, but I hate flyin’. So it would be an awful shame to die now.
Rockhound: That’s easy for you to say. I owe 100 grand to a fat-ass loan shark which I spent on a stripper named Molly Mounds.
Chick: Boy, that’s bad.
2) President: We didn’t see this thing coming?
Dan: Well, our object collision budget’s a million dollars. That allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and beg’n your pardon sir, but it’s a big-ass sky.
(NOTE TO SELF: Since when was the sky classed as ‘big-ass’?)
3) Karl: Sir, I’m retired navy, I know all about classified. But one more thing. The person that finds her gets to name her right?
Dan: Yes-yes that’s right, that’s right.
Karl: I wanna name her Dottie after my wife. She’s a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.
4) Rockhound: Guess what guys, it’s time to embrace the horror! Look, we’ve got front row tickets to the end of the earth!
5) Colonel William Sharp: United States astronauts train for years. You have twelve days.
6) Grace Stamper: First time I got my period, Rock had to take me into Tai-Pei for Tampax. And then he had to show me how to use them, Harry.
[off Harry’s stern look]
Rockhound: Ho-ho. I ju- No I-I told her how to use it. I didn’t show her, Harry.
7) Karl: Get my phone book, get those names of those guys from NASA.
Dottie: Excuse me? Am I wearing a sign that says “Karl’s slave”?
Karl: [shouting] Go get my goddamn phone book! Get the book! Get the book! Get the book!
8) Bear: What’s up, Harry? Did NASA find oil on Uranus, man?
(hahaa! ‘Uranus, man’! What…errr…mature humour?…)
9) [getting arrested by a policeman after a strip club brawl]
Rockhound: You are SO messin’ with national security right now, man! You are FIRED tomorrow morning, I’m tellin’ ya! I’ll get the CIA and the FBI, you’ll be workin’ security at Toys R’ Us!
(oh welll…could’ve been Debenhams.)
10) Rockhound: Why do I do this? Because the money’s good, the scenery changes and they let me use explosives, okay?
(Pretty well somes up Michael Bay: money and explosives).