Top 30 Films…

This took me hours to write…

  1. A Clockwork Orange – rape, drugs, and murdering with a penis statue (as you do)
  2. Monty Python and the Holy Grail – moose’s that bite your sister, knights that change their names and an evil flying rabbit (and cow)
  3. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World – seven evil exes, a girl with constantly changing hair colour and the best fucking roommate ever to have been born in cinema
  4. The Shawshank Redemption – Morgan Freeman, a heartwrenching story and the best ending to a movie ever
  5. The Color Purple – a heartwarming tale, a girl with no hope and the second best ending to a movie ever
  6. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb – a pie fight that never existed, an insanely long title and a fight that occurs in a war room
  7. Fight Club – good sex, a lot of fighting and a mind-blowingly good twist
  8. Back to the Future – a son that meets his mother, some fading photographs and a timetravevelling car
  9. Eyes Wide Shut – a nightmarish tale, a turbelent relationship and a disturbing (yet hypnotic) orgy
  10. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest – funny, disturbing and Jack Nicholson at his best
  11. The Shining – heeeeeeeeeeeere’s johneeeeeeee!
  12. Full Metal Jacket – an acid-tongued drill instructor, a psychopathic bald dude and a ‘human enemy’
  13. Reservoir Dogs – ear slicing, swearing and the colour pink
  14. 2001: A Space Odyssey – half an hour of monkeys, a killer computer and a hallucinogenic-infested space trip
  15. Pulp Fiction – violence, swearing and foot massages
  16. Bedknobs and Broomsticks – juggling apples, singing fish and flying beds
  17. 12 Angry Men – 12 jurors, 12 opinions, 1 verdict
  18. The Deer Hunter – steel miners, “I love you babyyy!” and russian roulette
  19. Toy Story 2 – a camera used as a weapon, an evil chicken-man and an irritating texas gold miner
  20. Trainspotting – drugs, life and electrical tin openers
  21. The Man with the Golden Gun – Roger Moore, Scaramanga and a golden gun
  22. Toy Story – an evil child, some annoying (yet cute) aliens and toys that can talk (YES TALK!!)
  23. Taxi Driver – a taxi, a taxi driver, a gun
  24. Airplane! – a guitar that almost kills a child, a killer fish pie and a rather ‘sexually charged’ autopilot
  25. The Silence of the Lambs – an insane psychiatrist, a butterfly and some fava beans with a chianti
  26. Brokeback Mountain – an unforgiving society, a tent (cheekaaay) and some fishing which mysteriously never gets done
  27. Die Hard – Alan Rickman playing a crazy german, the best quote ever (‘yippee-kayyay motherfucker!’) and a lot of ammunition
  28. Mulholland Drive – silencio, a man with a cane that says “there is no band, yet you can hear a band” and a lot of dreams
  29. Commando – a tree lifted up by Arnold Schwarzenegger, a car lifted up by Arnold Schwarzenegger and a phone box (YES A PHONE BOX!!) lifted up by Arnold Schwarzenegger
  30. The Matrix – a world that doesn’t exist, a red and blue pill and a few blokes in glasses